Steps
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1
Know your reasons. How badly do you want a girlfriend? You have to really like her. Are you doing it for the right reasons? Do you really just want to have a relationship, or do you just want to brag? If you’re looking for a girlfriend out of desperation or just to look cooler in front of your friends, your chances of getting a girlfriend are low.
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2
Don’t label yourself. Perhaps you want to go after a cheerleader. All your friends might say you have no chance – you’re a nerd! Ignore them. If you don’t care, and she doesn’t care, that’s all that matters. Don’t put yourself in a box.
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3
Stay smart. Don’t think you have to dumb yourself down. Know that you’re lovable as you are. Maybe a little sprucing up will help, but don’t get obsessed with it. Getting a girlfriend shouldn’t be your first priority.
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4
Acknowledge that you’re not always the smarter one. Hard to believe but it’s true. Remember that you are a nerd in only one (or a few) knowledge areas, and thus unaware (blissfully) of many aspects of civilization. The girl you are dating is likely to be a generalist. She may not know much about your interest, but she knows a heck of a lot about other things that matter.
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5
Get personal. Think of some girls you know, especially those you know personally, i.e., you are friends with. It’s easier to build a relationship with some kind of foundation to start with.
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6
Get to know her. Find some things to talk about. Ideally, you should find a girl who shares some of your interests. Even is she doesn’t, it’s not the end of the world. For example, she might not care about HTML and JavaScript but you might not want to recite Shakespeare. Diversity is an asset in relationships; you won’t get bored with each other. At least you can respect each others pursuit of something less frivolous than popularity.
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7
Tidy up. You’re never going to be a jock but you don’t have to look like a slob either. Keep your teeth food-free , your face clean, and your breath fresh. Find clothes that fit your personality – they don’t have to be cool, just relatively neat. Make yourself presentable so that you will have more confidence in yourself: Get a haircut, pick up some clothes that make you look good, shave, hit up a gym, buy or borrow some cologne (Don’t overdo it! It should be barely noticeable). Taking care of your body and how you present it will show how much effort you are willing to put into a relationship, and physical attraction is never a bad thing.
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8
Use it or lose it. Use your intelligence to your advantage. Not many girls will turn down tutoring sessions from a really intelligent guy, as long as they average As or higher. With tutoring, you can make friends with lots of girls. If there is a subject that you’re having trouble with, ask one of the girls in your class who is doing well to help you out. Girls love to be appreciated for more than just their looks. If dating them doesn’t work out, then at the least you’ve made lots of friends, and no harm can come from that.
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9
Develop a shared passion. She knows you’re into astrophysics and you know she likes to shop for hair accessories. You don’t need to force one into the others world. That’s sure to be a disaster. Instead, find something that you like doing together. If it’s photography, let her take the cute photos of baby animals at the zoo, while you worry about the megapixels.
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10
Keep an ear on your conversation. If you hear yourself monopolizing the discussion with your brilliant insights, or descending into Trivialand, beware. Stop, smile, and say something like, “Whoa, I got carried away there. What do you think?”. If she doesn’t seem enthusiastic about the conversation, let her take the reins, or change the subject to one she’s comfortable with. Nerds are detail oriented, and tend to prattle on happily, well beyond the point where anyone else is interested. Try to listen more than you talk. Listening is vital in good relationships.
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11
Be confident! Nothing is more important. If your confidence is low to begin with, then build it up first. Remember, you are who you are, being fake will only make you crash and burn later. Be confident in (and even enjoy) who you are, and others will as well.If you want to be a nerd be one.
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12
Don’t annoy her. When you get her number it is not good to call her “everyday” somedays actually give her a break and see if she calls. Alot of time “nerds” are prone to leave a voice mail, don’t. It gets annoying and one of the quickest ways to make her feel crowded and leave.
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